You shouldn't have asked if...

An argument I came across recently that really chapped my ass was: “Well, you shouldn’t have asked if you were going to get upset.” This kind of response deflects from the actual issue and dismisses the very real emotions that come with difficult conversations.

If someone gets into a car accident, you wouldn’t say, “Well, you shouldn’t have been driving. Only people who drive get into accidents.”

People are allowed to have hard conversations knowing there’s a risk of discomfort. Being upset is part of human nature.